Prairie Dog Blog

Hey....While I was sleeping in the perriwinkles, Jack AND Lyn blogged. As Jack is wont to say...woohoo. Sounds like Lyn and family are doing well. And it sounds like Jack and kids are doing well too. Its so nice to hear from them and blogging is such a great way to do it! Don'tcha think? I have lost track of Gary...off the map in Cukkamunga or something between Tucson and Phoenix. They are well too, except for Gary's shoulder which, if he can, he will use as an excuse for his golf game for the next three years!...nyuknyuk...no really, I hope it gets better soon...it can be bad at your age. nyuknyuk. By for now, Keep blogging y'all. 

Saw the Winnipeg Comedy Fest on CBC last night. Colin Mochrie was hosting and he discussed Canada's relationship with Americans. Among other things he said, "The American dollar is still worth more than the Canadian dollar so Americans can come here and spend their money or stay home...either way its a win/win situation." He also said, "Don't kid yourself, Americans need Canada. Before they invade a country they always come to us to find out where it is on the map." nyuk nyuk.

Tonight we are having guests for supper. Morgan and Terri and Doug and Diana are coming for mmm, lets see, caesar salad (?), chicken cordon bleu, asparagus wrapped in prosciutto, hot home-made apple pie avec creme-glace, and afterwards a 10 year old Martinez tawny port with an assortment of cheeses and grapes and Drambuie and coffee to finish. mmmmm yatatatata

Looks like Manitoba's Jennifer Jones team is going to win the Scotts in curling... the final is tomorrow. I'll have to watch that. I saw today's semi final between BC and Ontario and Ontario won 9 - 7. Close game.

Well, better go .....blog soon.
most honorable rt. rev. Dennis Church of the shivering Jesus
peace

Dear Friends,
My wife is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to, "hey y'all, hold my beer and watch this!"
Well, I have outdone myself once again.
No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a LifeTime movie in the near future.
Here goes.
Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled). I bought something really cool for Her. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl.
What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip.
For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety.
The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety.
You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek.
If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out--way too cool!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing!
I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs.
How disappointing! I do love fire for effect.
I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to.
I did so. Awesome!!!
Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!!
Yipeeeeee . . I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to Her what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc.
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Gracie) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet kitty, after all.
But, if I was going to give this thing to Her to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that?
Seemed reasonable to me at the time...
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!"
Friggin' way--trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
What happened next is almost beyond descr1ption, but I'll do my best.
Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed.
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?).
I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it.
(Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight--always twenty-twenty.
It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya hate that?)
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY ****!
I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again.
I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position.
Gracie was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
(Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself.) You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by violent thrashing about on the floor. (Then, if you're lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh like yours truly.)
SON-OF-A-***** that hurt!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
How did they get there???
My triceps, right thigh and both titties were still twitching.
My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure.
By the way, has anyone seen my testies? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. Miss 'em . . . sure would like to get 'em back.
A letter from a friend

Terror alert level.....BERT!
Those wacky Americans....Tell me what is the difference between High alert and elevated alert? Do both call for duct tape and plastic wrap? Finally Mr. Dithers (Paul Martin...for those out in arizona-land) has finally said that Canada will not support the US in the weaponization of space.....huzza huzza. Ann Coulter, the F**knut from Faux News, says that Canada is just lucky that the US does just 'roll over and crush us' and most Americans couldn't care less about Canada, would most likely shrug it off. Bush and his neocon cronies however, will be a tad upset. The American ambassador to Canada, Paul Celluci, has stated that if Canada does not support what would amount to good start at a new missle race, then Canada is leaving the US to make the decision as to whether or not to shoot down incoming missles pointed at Canada. Arrogant dickweeds!

Wish I would have thought of that! Pass me the monkey wrench!

"After years fighting frames that seemed to always slip down his nose, Sooy got a bridge piercing — a relatively common piercing through the bridge of the nose. In December, he and his friend Oliver affixed the prescription lenses to it."

Dubya Bush is over in Europe trying to mend diplomatic fences. In his speech the other day to the European Heads in Brussels, he sounded like the arrogant ole professor admonishing his students for their failing grades. European leaders may pretend to make nice with Bush, taking the diplomat's role far more serious than Bush and his cronies ever did. The EEC is busy working on growing their economy and adding to their army (outside of NATO). The Euro is outperforming the US dollar. As a result the US is being marginalized, and they have Bush and his right wing cronies to thank for that. Freedom Fries? Freedom Toast? kinda rings hollow now don't it? Bush will have to travel a lot farther and faster if he wants the backing of the rest of the civilized world........how about joining the rest of the world in supporting Kyoto, the world court, the land mine treaty, the Geneva Accord for starters, then maybe you will gain some respect.

Well the Oscars are this Sunday. I have some favourites: Hillary Swank for her role in "Million Dollar Baby" as best actress. Cate Blancette for supporting role in "The Aviator". Martin Scorsese for directing "The Aviator" (eeehh, his time is up!). Alan Alda for supporting actor in "The Aviator"...is he even nominated? I seriously liked the writng for "Sideways" and I think it just might get the oscar for the best picture unless it gets political, and then it will go to "The Aviator". If its one thing that the Oscars do is they pick on one movie, good or bad, and throw a ton of oscars at it....this could happen to "The Aviator".

Catherine just got home from subbing. It was a short day for her because school dismissed at 2:15. I was supposed to be doing the monthly newsletter for the Humanist group but I just get started and then I think of something else to do. I always work better under pressure anyways.

The CBC has taken over showing curling (the roaring game!) from TSN (Toronto Sports Network). They were showing the Scott Tournament of Hearts on the weekend and cut off the broadcast of a game when it was tied and the final rocks were just being thrown. Was there ever a hoohaw over that one! The stunned bastards didn't know what hit them but I'll tell ya boy they will never, never do that again!.....sacre-bleu! Manitoba has a chance of winning it all....what else is new, eh?

Our Prime Minister has earned the moniker 'Mr Dithers'. 'The Economist' gave him that name because he cannot seem to make up his mind lately. I am sure that with the minority government in place he has to measure each and every little decision carefully lest he brings down the government. It too bad that the Americans can't ever have a minority government because they really only have two parties. Canadians have four....makes for some good fun down in Ottawa, eh Mr. Dithers?

There was an item in the paper the other day about the Humans Resources Dept. at the University of Alberta putting up a poster in Braille. This was an attempt to be more inclusive of minorities. The idea was good but enclosing it in a glass case kinda defeated the purpose. When confronted with this fact, the spoksman for the Humans Resourses Dept. said, "What problem?".

keep blogging.........TTFN (tata for now!)
the most reverend Dennis
the Little Emperor; oscars; getting started; Mr. Dithers

Hello there.....
First off...sorry to hear about Alan's Mom. Our hearts are with Alan and Lyn and the family. I only met Alan's Mom once but she seemed very nice.
Well, we went to see the movie " The Aviator" yesterday. Directed by Martin Scorsese and a cast of Leonardo De Caprio, Cate Blanchette, Alan Alda, and others bring this epic movie to life. Technically it can't be beat...direction, editing, filmography were great. The acting was superb. Leonardo and Cate had the mannerisms of Howard Hughes and Katherine Hepburn down great. Cate was especially good as Hepburn....oscar performance there! The Aviator is a perfectly realized recreation of the era and one well worth experiencing. But the lack of a real emotional journey suggests 'all gloss and no substance', and ultimately prevents the movie from being truly great. The movie is three hours long but there were no parts athat seemed to drag. Two big thumbs up.

I received 44 pages of Joseph Hogue's WWI military records. A very interesting read. He enlisted, at the age of 41, on March 4th, 1916 and was discharged Oct. 23rd, 1918. He spent 14 months on the front with the 16th battalion (British Expeditionary Force) in France and Belgium. The balance was spent either in transit, on strength at Shorncliff, Dibgate, England, in the hospital (1 week 'contusion to his knee') and 2 weeks in hospital in France for "impaired function of the heart" caused by "over exertion and strain of duty". I guess he got over his heart condition because he lived to the ripe old age of 93! It also mentions that he was discharged o 'compassionate grounds' (ref. letter to H.Q.). Other intersting things....he had 8 children upon enlistment...six boys and 2 girls. He was docked 2 weeks pay for "drunkedness" just prior to his embarkation back to Canada. Now I have some digging to do.

Saturday we have a play to attend at the Manitba Theatre Centre. We are going to Buccachinos for dinner afterwards and then to our house for a few drinky poos and some games.

Well....keep on blogging...I see Jack is doing well, he has blogged once after his New Years resolution to "blog more often". Hey it only takes 10 minutes once you get the hang of it.

"I believed all this stuff when I was young," Maher begins, smiling wryly. "I believed there was a virgin birth, I believed a man lived inside of a whale, and I believed that the Earth was 5,000 years old. But then something very important happened to me -- I graduated sixth grade."
condolences; Aviator; Joseph H.; MTC; Maher

"Tuesday Feb. 2nd was Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address in the USA. It is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication -- and the other involves a groundhog." nyuk nyuk

Yesterday Mom took us out for brunch to a little place across the street from Medicine Rock Cafe in St. Francois Xavier. The restaurant is a new one located in a large house that once held a Nunnery. It's called The Habit cafe.......eating there could become a habit...heehee Anyhoo,it was very good. We did not got to the Medicine Rock because the food there is on and off and it is our understanding that yesterday the food was more off than on. Comprenez-vous? After brunch we went for a little ride out hwy #26 to Poplar Point, St. Ambroise and ended up in Portage la Prairie. It was a nice day at about 3 deg c (-+36 deg f) and very comfortable in the car, especially since I got the heater fixed! Mom was in a good mood, as usual and we had a nice visit with her over the weekend.

Today is St. Valentine's Day, and is another day usurped by the Christians from the Romans who celebrated Lupercalia in the middle of February. According to legend, during Lupercalia all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Damn party pooper. Anyway, Happy Lupercalia!!!!!!

It looks like good weather for the Festival du Voyageur. I hope that the snow sculptures don;t melt before we have a chance to see them! Besides the Fort (Gibralter) there are 5 trading posts, each with its own theme. There is lots of food and much music in each trading post. They have dog-sled racing and sleigh rides with horses. There is a snow sculpture maze for the kids and a beer tent for the adults. Right throughout St. Boniface there parties and concerts for the week. Bon Festival!

For those of you that don't know about the Voyageurs: They were mainly French-Canadian men who signed on with fur trading companies, including the Hudsons Bay Company, as paddlers or canoe-men. These voyageurs opened up the north and west of North America. Lewis and Clark could not have made their trip to the Pacific without enlisting the help of French-Canadian voyageurs. In fact as Lewis and Clark made their way down rivers of the west, voyageurs ( a lot of them Metis) would be waving to them from the banks! French Canadians on the Lewis and Clark expedition included Toussaint Charbonneau, whose wife was the Shoshone Sacagawea. Sacagawea has more statues in the USA that any other woman in US history.

Well better go.....keep blogging everyone!!!!.............
peace Rev Dennis
groundhog; nuns; lupercalia; hey-ho; Sacagawea

As the war in Iraq progresses, the more it resembles the war in Vietnam. No exit strategy either.......And now it looks as though Chalabi the wacky Iraqi who urged the US to attack Iraq (if they needed urging) has won a seat on the interim council. You'll remember Chalabi as the one who said that the US would also be welcomed with open arms....people would be throwing flowers.....RPGs more like! And Bushes approval rating has shot up to 57% after the Iraqi vote.....in school that would still be an "F"!

Catherine and I had a Humanist workshop yesterday. We covered such topics as "How musch fun should we have at a solstice party?" and "Would you rather meet at a Hotel meeting room and include dinner that might cost a few bucks or meet in a free room donated by some philanthropist Hotel chain and have food supplied free of charge and yet still accept numerous complaints with a smile?" yeesshh ...people. You can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time.....ever.

Nana/Mom is here this weekend. She is taking us out for brunch today to celebrate our anniversary. we thought of going to the Medicine Rock Cafe but we are not sure...that place is so 'hit and miss' ....sometimes the food is great and sometimes its mediocre. Its hard to get good buffalo meat these days!

Here is a review of Margot's restaurant in Vancouver.....kinda neat. Daddums very proud.......see it here.

Gee Gary is going to be 65 this year???!!! and Jackaroo is going to be 50??!! Better warn the pharmacies to stock up on 'Depends'!!! Glad Gary is near Mexico......don't need a prescription for depends there! I don't need depends myself....nope, I sleep like a baby all night and I pee every morning at precisly 7:00 AM!!!!!!....of course I don't get out of bed until 8:00 AM!!!!

Well until later..........keep blogging
Peace out Rev. Dennis

"Mundus vult decipi"(the world wants to be deceived)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...The Iraqi election turn out was better than expected. Bush and the neo-cons were quick to take the credit, even though they did not want the election in the first place. They wanted an appointed (by them) interim government but Sistani the Shiite cleric convinced (read threatened) the US to make it an election. That way they could ensure a Shiite majority. Hypocrites all, the neo-cons happily dipped their fingers in ink and in a showy support for the Iraqis who voted, showed their fingers off at Dubya's State of the Union address....pretty crass I'd say.

Bush is going to meet with PM Martin at the Nato conference i Europe later this month and it is rumoured that he will ask Martin to send in 40 or so troops to help with the training of the Iraqi troops. Martin has said that he is not in favour, let's hope that he will stick to his guns (bad pun). Condi is overseas on a whirlwind trip. She is quoted on CNN this AM as saying, in a meeting with Chiraq of France (remember 'freedom fries'?), that the USA is in full support of the UN, that democracy cannot be forced on a nation, it must come from within...what a load of crap....is this the new US foreign policy? News to me. Looks like Iran is next on the list of countries that the US want to reformn from within....by bombing the crap out of them.
Remember the song Barbra-ann by the Beachboys?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb,bomb IRAN
Bomb,bomb,bomb,bomb,bomb Iran
BOMB IRAN....take my hand and Bomb Iran
You got me rockin and a rollin rocking in a rhythm
Bomb, Iran bomb,bomb,bomb, bomb IRAN
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyhoo....not much new here. The expected 9 deg. C temp on Friday did not materialize but the weather has been nice all the same. Lots of sun. And dare I say it...it is supposed t be 4 degs. C on Friday or Saturday. It is our usual Festival du Voyageur thaw! The Festival is starting on the 11th with a street festival in the french quarter. They have not done this for the last six years and it is back by popular demand. They close off Provencher Blvd. and have bands and dancing, and lots of fun. As usual the Festival is mainly situated in Fort Gibralter (in St. Boniface). They have 6 or so huge tents to house entertainment and food. MMMMM Tourtiere, bannock, pea soup (not so mmmm) and stick to your ribs chili. They also have snow sculpting teams from all over the world coming to sculpt their creations. It is a hoot to see the teams from the warmer climes coming here to the Great White North and freeze....oh well, there are many that come year after year. It will be fun ...the dancing, the singing, .....Heyooh....the joie de vivre!

We saw the movie "Ray" the other day.. Excellent. Just excellent. Jamie Fox IS Ray Charles. He looks so much like him and has Ray's mannerisms down pat. An added bonus that even the Director (Taylor hackford) was not aware of, is that Jamie Fox is an accomplished pianist!
Jamie makes those piano playing scenes so real. The director pans up from Jamie's hands playing the keys to Jamie's face and you are there...you are hooked. Even Ray Charles was crazy about Jamie playing him! A movie well worth seeing. Fox HAS to get the Oscar for his performance or there is no God....let me reword that...he deserves it.

Better go for now...remember to check Lyn's new blog (see shortcut) and keep on blogging........
Peace out, Dennis OCM (ordained clergy minister).
blue finger; Condi; Babba-ann; joie de vivre; RAY

Just a quick blog to let all my fan know that I am still alive....not kicking much but still alive. Cath and I went to an exec meeting of HAM tonight and thankfully it only lasted until 8:30pm. We have a Humanist workshop coming up on Feb 12th and we are looking forward to that.

A friend sent me some puns because he knows that I love puns...her are a couple: You know a pun is its own reword...nyuk nyuk
-Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
-A plateau is a high form of flattery.
-The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

love those puns.

Not much new here...a couple days each week at the WCAM (air museum)....I volunteered to cover a trade show on Saturday for various museums incuding ours. Catherine and I did it last year and it was fun...not jump up grab your ass bolliking fun but fun anyhow. I saw Billy Connely on the late show the other day and that guy is a riot, he showed Letterman how ...if you are standing at a urinal, tucked right in and when you are done make a motion from side to side and at the same time rap on the hidden side of the urinal.....sounds like your 'big Johnson' is hitting the side...it really impresses the guys standing next to you. This works especially well at hockey games...nyuk nyuk

We went to see "Sideways" today and it truly exceeded my expectations. It was a road movie...two guys finding themselves. A weeks trip to wine country California. Done well, nicely cast, well filmed, good direction, deserving of an Award, same guy who wrote About Schmit, about wine, a little taste of walnut, apricots and a nice finish.....not impertinent-yet saucy. 8 out of 10....and worthy of a oscar but can't decide for what yet!

Better go and catch the news.
This blog took me 13 minutes to compose and type out (and I can only type at the rate of 50 words per minute!)....so U C it only takes a few minutes to tell everyone just how you are doing....BLOG, BLOG
Peace.


HAM; Puns; Doink, doink; Sideways; 50 WAM